Killing myself with Caffeine

I am back to work - at least temporarily! It's a break from break neck school life - good or bad - I'm not sure yet! I have been given a challenging project. I really like the challenge in the work. But I am also tensed about my ability to deliver. This is not a game any more - where all that matters is a stupid grade in school. This can make or break a company!

I lead the life of a normal working man in Singapore. I use the MRT to commute to work. I walk 10 minutes in the sweaty sun to reach the station. I can stand in a packed commuter train to reach one station - change lines to another train and reach the destination station. I then walk another 10 minutes to reach office.

Office is like any indoor place in Singapore - freezing cold. They all have some tie up with wool manufacturers in the world. There are two seasons in Singapore - inside and outside. Inside is cold and freezing - they probably maintain it at some 15 degrees. Outside is like any other coastal city in the equatorial region - hot and humid. Evenings are better - windy and pleasant.
I sit in office with a lot of data to mine. I need some data and I don't need some. I need to use my brain. I feel happy about that part. But I feel scared I may not deliver. No bright ideas have struck me yet. But I kill myself with Caffeine. I eat biscuits and cookies - as if they would funnel into my brain and give it some energy. Am I really dumb - I wonder!

I look at the news - when I see what's happened in Mumbai - I get angry. I read a lot about India. A lot more than I used to when I lived in Bangalore. I feel happy for the country - its people are awesome. We do so much in spite of so many obstacles- those created by external and internal forces. I pray and hope for the billion countrymen that we find our way in the world.

I switched on the news channels the other evening - watching live pictures from Mumbai. My friends use the trains all the time. It could have been one of them. Luckily, all near and dear ones are fine. But, what's in the mindless killing?

I see the contrast in people from developed countries. People in Singapore have no clue what terrorism means. We did this project on terrorism in the last period. A bunch from Germany, France, Singapore and us - two Indians. They thought terrorism meant Al-qaeda. I told them what we've been through. They still don't understand. These people are most worried about the destination for fishing, the weather in that destination and of course football. I think of the millions of people who have much more basic questions - will I live to see tomorrow? I know so many of my Kashmiri friends - they were thrown out of their homes. They were told to leave by the loud speakers from the mosques. They were told to leave if they wanted to live. They are refugees in their own country.

Back to sipping my caffeine - I need all the luck in the world. Going by where the world's headed, there isn't much luck left in the world! Okay - let's go out in search for extra-terrestrial luck. Let's spread the scum ...