Swings of Life

Life is nothing but a see-saw of emotions. One feels high for a period of time and then sinks low deep down the woods at other times. The aim of spiritual gurus is to balance these emotions and be free of this world of being-affected!

I am not a believer in the sheep-shepherd way of life. That I live in the dark and I'm a sinner and a messiah will come and show me the light and redeem all my sins. I don't want to believe that I'm sinner in the first place. Makes me feel like a hopeless case. May be the thoughts and prayers of those type were valid for a certain period of time and the conditions that prevailed at that time. But certainly not in my case.

As I examine the vagaries of emotions one feels - I think the enemy lies deep within. It's so easy to take offence to what somebody else says and dismiss the person a 'weird' guy/girl, stupid, mean etc etc. But the effect of being hurt is completely internal. You feel hurt only if you want to. And I know for a fact that people want to! If only we sat and cried for all the pain we cause to ourselves, a lifetime is not enough. Atleast for some people.

The main culprit I presume is the devil called 'expectation'. One does so many things in anticipation of something in return. That's living in a world of expectations. I somehow have got out of that world a long back. When I do something good for somebody, it's because I know that that person will be happy if I did it. Not because I expect them to do something for me someday when I feel that someone should do it for me! Whether it's buying a sweet for a near one, whether it's making the person by showing around some place - it's completely out of the feeling of doing good - not out of expectation.

Today I'm in the trough of feelings. I don't know how to express it! So I blog here.

In conclusion, there are two ways of being philosophical - happily philosophical or depressedly philosophical. When one is happy, the philosophy is not evident. You just want to have the moment with you. You don't even realize that you are happy philosophically or spiritually. But when the going gets tough is when one realizes how tough it is lose that spiritual capital.